I am an Awesome Television Writer
As promised, here is a scene from the pilot script of my still unamed sitcom that I told you about in the "Sitcometry" post. Read that post first if you haven't already, so that you have an idea of what's going on.
INT. Grant House, Kitchen - Frank Grant is sitting at the breakfast table eating a plate of eggs. His wife, Sue Grant, is at the kitchen sink scrubbing the pan she used to make the eggs. Their 12 year old son Lucas walks into the room.
LUCAS: Morning mom. Morning dad.
SUE: Good morning sweetie.
FRANK: Morning son. Before you sit down, could you go out and fetch the paper for me?
Lucas seems less than thrilled at his father's request.
LUCAS: Do I have to dad?
FRANK: Only if you know what's good for you!
The audience cheers and laughs at the father's snappy retort.
LUCAS: But..
SUE: Don't argue with your father Lucas! Just do as your told.
LUCAS: Okay.
Lucas walks out the front door of the house.
FRANK: I swear Sue, sometimes I think that boy would fit in better in a home for the retarded.
The audience murmurs uncomfortably.
SUE: That's funny Frank, because sometimes I think that with all that back hair, you would fit in better in the gorilla exhibit!
The audience laughs uproariously.
FRANK: Very Funny. Maybe I should drink to that!
The audience cheers as Frank walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out a can of beer. He opens it and takes a big swig. The audience cheers louder.
Lucas comes running in the kitchen from outside. Half of his left arm has been torn off and he is gushing blood. Sue and Frank run to his side.
SUE: Honey, What happened?!
LUCAS: I was just doing what you told me to do. I went outside to catch the gator and...
FRANK: Catch the gator???!!! I said FETCH the PAPER!!!!!
Sue, Frank, and the audience all laugh at Lucas's confusion. Lucas does not laugh, but instead collapses from his loss of blood.
Lisa, Sue and Frank's 16 year old daughter, walks into the kitchen. Seeing her parents laughing and having such a good time, she looks disgusted.
LISA: Oh God... I think I'm gonna throw up.
FRANK: Well that wouldn't happen so much if you'd stop sticking your finger down your throat.
The audience cheers and hoots and hollers and laughs.
LISA: I hate you dad!!!!!!!!!
She storms off and the audience cheers again. Zelda, the elderly ethnic housekeeper, walks in and sees the pool of blood around Lucas on the floor.
ZELDA: Oh great. I guess I'd better get the mop.
The audience laughs until they cry.
END SCENE
Well there it is. A scene from the pilot script of my sitcom. I hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think of it. I'm also open to ideas and suggestions, so dont' be shy!
INT. Grant House, Kitchen - Frank Grant is sitting at the breakfast table eating a plate of eggs. His wife, Sue Grant, is at the kitchen sink scrubbing the pan she used to make the eggs. Their 12 year old son Lucas walks into the room.
LUCAS: Morning mom. Morning dad.
SUE: Good morning sweetie.
FRANK: Morning son. Before you sit down, could you go out and fetch the paper for me?
Lucas seems less than thrilled at his father's request.
LUCAS: Do I have to dad?
FRANK: Only if you know what's good for you!
The audience cheers and laughs at the father's snappy retort.
LUCAS: But..
SUE: Don't argue with your father Lucas! Just do as your told.
LUCAS: Okay.
Lucas walks out the front door of the house.
FRANK: I swear Sue, sometimes I think that boy would fit in better in a home for the retarded.
The audience murmurs uncomfortably.
SUE: That's funny Frank, because sometimes I think that with all that back hair, you would fit in better in the gorilla exhibit!
The audience laughs uproariously.
FRANK: Very Funny. Maybe I should drink to that!
The audience cheers as Frank walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out a can of beer. He opens it and takes a big swig. The audience cheers louder.
Lucas comes running in the kitchen from outside. Half of his left arm has been torn off and he is gushing blood. Sue and Frank run to his side.
SUE: Honey, What happened?!
LUCAS: I was just doing what you told me to do. I went outside to catch the gator and...
FRANK: Catch the gator???!!! I said FETCH the PAPER!!!!!
Sue, Frank, and the audience all laugh at Lucas's confusion. Lucas does not laugh, but instead collapses from his loss of blood.
Lisa, Sue and Frank's 16 year old daughter, walks into the kitchen. Seeing her parents laughing and having such a good time, she looks disgusted.
LISA: Oh God... I think I'm gonna throw up.
FRANK: Well that wouldn't happen so much if you'd stop sticking your finger down your throat.
The audience cheers and hoots and hollers and laughs.
LISA: I hate you dad!!!!!!!!!
She storms off and the audience cheers again. Zelda, the elderly ethnic housekeeper, walks in and sees the pool of blood around Lucas on the floor.
ZELDA: Oh great. I guess I'd better get the mop.
The audience laughs until they cry.
END SCENE
Well there it is. A scene from the pilot script of my sitcom. I hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think of it. I'm also open to ideas and suggestions, so dont' be shy!
posted by Jerkemy at 7:09 AM
8 Comments:
What do you mean "as yet untitled?"
Why do I even bother?
I am still awaiting approval for the title you suggested from a Mister B. Matt Kubinski. It does not look good however.
Like the Jews whome you hate so, you are waiting for a Messiah that may never come.
jason don't project your hatred of yourself on to me. and matt is coming, i know it! he has promised me that he will. i know he won't let me down!
We all Jews believe that He is coming, too. It's all just a question of when...
Rockstar Gabe from Seatle posted a comment about this script, but he put in the comment sectionr of the Reader Feedback post.
you wy use the title. but i want 20%
your math skills are as sharp ever matty!
20% of 0... your halfway to being super-rich.
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