I have the power!
So it's been percolating around on the internet that ol' Tom is going to introduce a tiered system of Myspacing, and yours truly has finally gotten
the poop on what's going down with the News Corp's newest acquisition.
ers will get power tools so they can fully customize their pages, entirely in-house. They will get a series of buttons eliminating all that HTML coding that onyl Myspace users seem to have to put up with. But there are some new features that really this reporter's ears up, and made him think twice about his recently-cancelled account.
Apparantly, Myspace was so steamed at Google's recent acquisition of YouTube - after not being given a "fair chance to match offers" - they were reported to have been working on ways to make it difficult, if not impossible, to post YouTube videos on a Myspace page. Soon, if you want to post video on Myspace, you're going to have to:
the poop on what's going down with the News Corp's newest acquisition."Power Users will be charged 9.95 per month, but they will be able to fully customize thier page and chat with whomever they like. They can add Basic Users, OR Power Users as friends."So basically it will let me do what I can already do for free? Not exactly, according to Myspace literature on the subject. For the $10 a month, us
ers will get power tools so they can fully customize their pages, entirely in-house. They will get a series of buttons eliminating all that HTML coding that onyl Myspace users seem to have to put up with. But there are some new features that really this reporter's ears up, and made him think twice about his recently-cancelled account.Apparantly, Myspace was so steamed at Google's recent acquisition of YouTube - after not being given a "fair chance to match offers" - they were reported to have been working on ways to make it difficult, if not impossible, to post YouTube videos on a Myspace page. Soon, if you want to post video on Myspace, you're going to have to:
- Upload your video directly to Myspace
- All videos must be original, uncopywrighted content
- Video content will be monitored similarly to photos, for violence or nudity, or other such things objectionable to the News Corp.
- Have a Power User account
- Track all page views.
- A web-display will show just exactly how you are connected to any other user.
- Preferred display on searches in which your page would appear.
- HTML power tools.
- Page templates, with fixed-width tables etc, so your photos etc don't become an unwieldy mess to look at (and with background images that actually stay in the background).
- No distracting advertising... none actually!
- Unlike "basic" users, all power users retain the rights to any material posted on their pages.
- A complicated filter system that will allow you to specify undesireable users, and appear invisible to them, as if you didn't have an account.

5 Comments:
First of all, welcome to the Jer-King team Jason. Might I say that your first post is as awesome as every post I've ever posted in my entire life combined.
I can't believe how amazing this is going to be. I really didn't think my life was ever going to get any better ever again. Seriously, I thought I had reached the apex of my life and was on a rapid downhill tumble to death. But myspace has delayed that inevitable decline yet again. I love that site, I really truly do. If I were a young supple virgin I would offer myself as a sacrifice to Myspace.
I love you Myspace. Tonight as I lay down in an intimate fashion with my wife, I will be thinking of you.
Also, I think you should know since you are now a contributor, that it's The Jer-King, not the Jerk-King
Oops! A typo, I promise.
We now know this about the night the Jerkemies are going to have:
Mr. Jerkemy is going to start screaming out "myspace, myspace!" Mrs. Jerkemy, in the throes of passion, will assume he is screaming "my face, my face!"
Because she is such a faithful reader of the Jer-King, Mrs. Jerkemy will assume that the mister is attempting his new heightened orgasm trick, and produce a fresh can of pepper from underneath a pillow, and will throw it at his face. No pepper will be released, because Mrs. Jerkemy has forgotten to remove the safety paper. Instead Mr. Jerkemy will just get bludgeoned in the face with a full can.
When the bleeding subsides, the Jerkemies will change out the bloodied sheets and fall fast asleep, most unsatisified.
Well I guess you can turn the hidden camera in my bedroom off tonight jason, since there are no surprises in store for you.
Sweet! A new reader, and a new visitor from the states. alcaptone, you have made my night.
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